One of the key components for Negaholism to take hold is stress. Excessive stress creates a feeling of overwhelm. When you experience overwhelm, it becomes a catalyst for the “Hole in the Soul” syndrome to engage. The “Hole in the Soul” syndrome means that you think, feel, and believe that you are insufficient to meet the challenges that are being presented to you. As the stress increases, the feelings of insufficiency grow exponentially and you feel smaller and smaller.
I have studied every aspect of negativity, including why and how people become negative, what reinforces negative attitudes and behaviors, and to how to overcome negativity. In fact, I am the world’s foremost authority on Negativity and how to conquer it. I have conducted the research, gathered the data, and formulated the breakthrough theory that enables people to shift from having their circumstances run their lives to them taking control, being in charge, and becoming more positive people. I became so fascinated with the subject that I coined the word, Negaholic. A Negaholic is a person who is addicted to negativity in thought, word, or behavior. If you think the word “addicted” is too strong a word, then ask yourself if the negative person you have in mind can control their negativity. If the answer is, “No,” then that matches with the definition of an addiction. An addiction is something that has control over one’s behavior. Addictions replace choice with compulsion and dependence. When someone is addicted to a substance or a process, they no longer feel as if they can choose to say “No” to the focus of their attention. Negaholism, as I have labeled the addiction to negativity, is at the root of all compulsive and addicted behaviors. Whether the addiction is to sugar, cigarettes, coffee, TV, shopping, washing your hands, overeating, alcohol, or drugs, underneath the symptom is the “cause” addiction to negativity that drives the behavior and locks it into place.
Here is a formula that acts as a catalyst for Negaholism:
Change plus excessive stress, plus the “Hole in the Soul” syndrome” result in Negaholism.
In a perfect world, where there is enough time, enough energy, enough health, enough money, Negaholism doesn’t surface very frequently. However, when scarcity of time, energy, health, and money will trigger the Negaholism to surface.
Each one of us has certain standards that we establish for ourselves. These standards are based on past experiences and expectations. When you have a situation that does not match up with your image of yourself it creates a schism between your idea of who you are and the reality of the situation. We call this the “margin for beat-up.” The “margin for beat-up” engages when you feel overwhelmed and start to feel like you can’t get it all done. The “cycle of negativity” starts with overwhelm. Overwhelm happens when you feel as if you simply can’t do everything that is on your plate.
You are pulled in too many directions at the same time, the deadlines are unrealistic given the time you have available, and the demands placed on you exceed the time and resources you have available. This experience of overwhelm triggers the “I can’t” syndrome. You start hearing in your head, “I can’t do it, I can’t get it all done, I can’t meet the deadline.” This response, which is diminishing, degrading, and depressing causes you to fill the emptiness or the “hole in the soul” syndrome with activities, substances, or behaviors. Watching TV, eating excessively, drinking alcohol, taking drugs, shopping are all activities that produce short-term gratification and sabotage any long-term satisfaction. When the temporary positive or euphoric feeling wears off, the emptiness, anxiety, fear or panic return, coupled with embarrassment. The cycle then repeats itself over and over again until it becomes a “normal” feeling to the person. The feelings of embarrassment logically lead to a Negattack. A Negattack is when you attack yourself for not living up to your expectations. The Negattack happens when part of you engages in a specific behavior while another part separates from the behavior and criticizes the part that is engaged in the behavior. This separation or split is important to note. When you have a “Negattack” several significant things occur that explain why Negaholism becomes addictive. Addictive elements are associated with imprinted experiences. An imprint is an event or a series of events that create a long-lasting emotional and psychological effect. When someone judges and criticizes himself, there is a multiple effect that anchors the experience and locks it into the addictive pattern.
This triple imprint that occurs reinforces the behavior.
The first imprint is Psychological, and supports the human need for attention. When positive attention is not possible, the negative is the only other option.
The second imprint is emotional and addresses the need for excitement. When you can’t get excitement in any other way, the act of doing something that creates drama allows you to be the star of your own movie, even if it is a melodrama.
The third imprint is Physiological, and supports the chemical rush in your bloodstream. The Negattack releases chemicals called “opiate peptides” into your system, which attack your immune system. With these three imprints occurring simultaneously, a person becomes locked into the negative pattern. This is the reason that intelligent, capable, and talented people become Negaholics. This is called, the “cycle of negativity.”
There are four different categories of Negaholics: Attitudinal, Mental, behavioral, and Verbal. Within those four categories, there are fourteen different types of Negaholics, and there are varying degrees of the condition. You might have a mild case of Perfectionism-Negaholism which only surfaces when you are hosting a dinner party, and you want everything to be perfect, and the fish becomes overcooked and the pasta is chewy. You may be a little more infected with the virus in that you talk yourself out of opportunities, jobs, relationships, or contests, claiming that you never win anything, and why bother trying. You could have an extreme case of Negaholism where you argue for your limitations and sincerely believe your own belittling concepts, “I am not good at public speaking, and I am terrible at sales!”
There are the six reasons people are Negaholic at work.
First of all they bring their low self-esteem from their family of origin into the work environment and act it out.
Second, old hurts or resentments from the past that have never been resolved are brought into the new work situation.
Third, there may just be the wrong match of person and job
Fourth, the person may have never been able to receive any positive attention, and so they act out negatively to get attention
Fifth, they may be doing a job that is over their head, and subsequently experience the “I cant’s” on a regular basis.
Sixth, the person may suffer from a chemical imbalance in their system.